At 20, it seems to us that we will live forever, and our values will forever remain the same as they are now. However, time passes and we change. And suddenly, having found ourselves abroad for 30 years, we understand that everything has become completely different – not at all the way we assumed in our youth.
A lot of people of all ages work for us at Hop.mobi, And we have seen more than once how often and strongly the priorities in life change. Therefore, one of our authors, who has already managed to visit one age and another, decided to highlight the main differences in the behavior and worldview of 20- and 30-year-old women.
I realized that there were fewer friends
At first, I could not understand where they all went. As a child, my comrades were on the playground instantly, and I seriously considered the whole yard as my friends. At the age of 20, I called half of the university group that way. By the time I was 30, I had 2 friends left. At first, this discovery shocked me. And then I realized: it’s easy to be friends when it doesn’t bear any obligations. But when you are faced with adulthood and the first difficulties, it becomes obvious who are random people from the environment, and who are real friends. The more life experience we gain, the more selective we are towards people. And only the best stay with us.
It’s just hard to strain, to think of something, and then also to remember it. At the age of 15, I lied to my mother that I walked in a hat, and hid the report card with a three in mathematics from my father: they would swear. At the age of 20, out of habit, I was already hiding what time I returned home from a party or from a guy. And now you can not do this: my whole life is only my business, and no one can forbid me anything. There is simply no one to forbid: I am an adult. And this is such a relief!
Stopped saving on things that bring pleasure
It’s hard to do what makes you happy when you don’t have money. And in youth, usually few people have them: what kind of money is there in the student body or in the first job with the minimum wage? By the age of 30, many already have some kind of career and, accordingly, there are more opportunities.
In addition, you begin to understand: you need to allow yourself what pleases, otherwise, life becomes too boring and monotonous. Would you like shrimp? Why not pamper yourself. High-quality and comfortable shoes? Yes, definitely. Is it possible to go on vacation abroad? It is well worth the expense. The older you become, the better you are able to restore your resource. And this is a valuable skill that is very useful in later life.
I started to say “no” more often
In my youth, it was difficult for me to offend people with refusal: I’m a good girl. Suddenly, the neighbor will be offended for a harsh response to her moralizing or the guy she likes will fall out of love if I don’t agree with him in everything. But at one point I realized that a good girl is very convenient for others but very bad for me. The ability to say “no” in time is to some extent a sign of growing up. And life with this skill is much easier than without it. Stupid neighbors cease to creep into your life, and smart men, it turns out, really like that you have your own opinion.
I learned how to correctly distribute time and effort
In my youth, I did many things automatically. I worked a lot and was very tired. But she did her work regularly and did not delegate anything to anyone, although it was possible. I believed that if you want to do well, you need to do it yourself. And it applied to everything.
Once my mother said that she would come to visit in a day. This means, it is necessary to clean up, otherwise she will sigh all day and say that I am a slob. And I have an important project, I have neither time nor energy at all. I complained to a friend, and she said that it would be better if I hired a housekeeper. I always refused, but then out of despair, I took her advice. This was a turning point in my life: it turns out that the ability to delegate brings better results than trying to be on time everywhere. On that day, I calmly completed the project, passed it, and then got a promotion.
It turns out that sometimes it’s cheaper to pay someone to clean the house while you’re doing something that will make you profitable or even just give you the hour you need to rest. Since then, I have been doing this kind of thing regularly.
Stopped spending the night at a party and calling her with an overnight stay
At 20, it was an adventure to walk all night and then stay overnight with friends, because I was too lazy to go home. But now I no longer see romance in waking up in someone else’s house without my toothbrush and makeup. A puffy face, stale breath, black mascara under the eyes are a dubious after-party bonus. Worse than just leaving unfamiliar people to spend the night and not knowing how to get rid of them in the morning. Because the holiday is over, that’s it, let me lie down with a book in silence on my sofa, I don’t want to continue the banquet.
Learned not to skimp on beauty
It is believed that after 25-30 years, the aging process begins. At first, it is imperceptible, but in the 4th decade, you begin to understand that it will not be like before.
I have always been very economical and did not spend much on beauty products. However, with age, I began to notice that all my cleansers tighten the skin, and moisturizers do not really moisturize. Like every normal woman, I am not indifferent to my appearance. Therefore, she began to pay more attention to him: she began to do facial massage and use better quality cosmetics. I cannot say that the aging process that has begun makes me happy. But it turned out that it is very pleasant to be concerned with your appearance, although it is expensive. There is no personal merit that you look good at 20. But a woman who at 30–35 looks 10 years younger deserves respect.
And yes, before I was sure that I would never inject Botox – I would age naturally, like European women. Then I turned 38. I looked at myself in the mirror for a year and did not understand why I looked so bad. I decided to go to a beautician, and she said: “Well, what do you want, these are the usual age-related changes. But there are solutions to this problem. ” And I solved all my problems with her. I got prettier, fresher, and thought that the calmness and satisfaction from my appearance are dearer to me than youth principles.
Has ceased to be good for everyone
I have been taught all my life that it would be better not to upset others. Otherwise, they get upset and think I’m bad. And I’m good. However, in fact, healthy selfishness is the best I could do for myself. Giving too much of my strength and energy to other people, I did not become happier. It turns out that self-sacrifice, so often praised in literature, is a sign of far from being the healthiest person.
Only with age did the understanding come that if someone does not like me the way I am, then maybe these people and I are simply not on the way? Somewhere at this stage, several acquaintances dropped out. But there are those who really accept me anyway.
I learned that you can live without soup: there will be no gastritis
As a child, my mother fed me soups and said that this is a guarantee of health. Without soup, they say, gastritis is provided. And I could not stand them. Fortunately, as an adult, I can eat the way I like it. And it turned out that a balanced diet is not a broth with overcooked vegetables at all. It doesn’t matter in what form I consume fiber and protein, as long as they are present in sufficient quantities. To calm my soul, I even read medical journals and reference books: nowhere did I find information that the lack of homemade soup was the cause of gastritis.
I realized that sleep is important
More important than breakfast. As a student, you walk all night, sleep for 2 hours, and in the morning you get up, wash your face – and again beautiful. After 10-15 years, it doesn’t work that way. It turns out that if you do not sleep for a full 7-8 hours, then circles appear under the eyes, the face becomes wrinkled and takes on an earthy hue, and the mood tends to negative values. I admit this was a discovery, and I did not even immediately believe that it was age.
On the one hand, there is little joy in this, but on the other hand, this is a good reason to give yourself enough sleep more often. It used to be thought that you just thoughtlessly sleep until 12 on your day off, and now you take care of your beauty and health.
Stopped wearing thongs and lace underwear
Firstly, there is an opinion that wearing thongs, especially those made of synthetics, is harmful. Secondly, it is inconvenient: why sacrifice your comfort? Torment yourself with lace, from which everything itches, or thongs, because they wrote in the magazine that it is beautiful – what’s the point?
Trying to always be on alert is a lot of young maidens. No, well, really: at 20, every minute you expect a superman to jump out from around the corner. And after 30 supermen have either happened, or the understanding has come that they actually bite on the brain, and not on your forms in thongs. Therefore, this kind of outfit for the holidays or for the mood is ideal.
I learned that having a rest does not mean wasting your life on stupidity
In my family, it was believed that rest is the lot of lazy and weaklings. And instead of lying on the couch with a book, it would be better to go to your room to clean up. I grew up, graduated from university, and went to work. She worked the way I was taught: to the fullest, without breaks and days off. My friends went on vacation in their free time, fell in love, and read interesting books. And I had no free time.
One day I didn’t go to the mountains with a guy I liked because there was no time: I promised to go to work on the weekend to finish an important project. I was sitting in the office on Saturday, looking at his pictures of skiing on social networks, and suddenly burst into tears. I felt very unhappy. I called my friend to complain, and she scolded me and asked: why? Why am I changing my life to work? What does it give me?
This situation got me thinking. It didn’t work out with the guy, but I learned a lesson: rest is not idleness, it is important for life and restoration of your resource. Not everyone knows how to relax and rest. I didn’t know how, and I had to learn it. But now I understand: if you don’t give yourself a break, you can really ruin your life.
Stopped going to the fitness club wearing makeup
It’s just that at the age of 20 and at the age of 30, the goals are different: I used to go to a fitness club to make new acquaintances, and now – to do something useful for my body. This is a combination of rest and work, but only for yourself, and not for someone else. On top of that, I now know that makeup on a sweaty face not only looks awful but also does not benefit the skin.
One day I came, as usual, overdressed for training. I am standing in the hallway near the mirror, and in the men’s locker room the door is ajar. And I can hear the guys speak about the girls who go to the club. Oh, and I heard enough ridicule about all the beauties who come to the hall with false eyelashes and long nails! It became so unpleasant, I felt such a fool that I had given up this business – to paint before going in for sports. And then she quit the fitness club: you can work out on the street for free. And no one is discussing.
Realized not to waste time on stupid films
In my youth, for some reason, I could calmly dull the whole evening into some kind of nonsense and just play for time. Life seemed endless. Then it turned out that every year time goes faster and faster, so it becomes a pity to waste it on some nonsense. It sounds awful, but in fact, it has its own charm: you already understand more clearly what really brings pleasure and what does not, what is worth wasting time, and what is better to stop right away. Certainty is grown up. And I like being an adult.
What habits did you change when you crossed the 30th anniversary?